


though your heart is far too young to realize

by and_hera



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Study, F/M, Sokka (Avatar)-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:20:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25557244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/and_hera/pseuds/and_hera
Summary: Sokka has realized that he’s basically the big brother here, and he takes his duties seriously. Protector. None of them really need to be protected, Toph being a master earthbender and Katara being a master waterbender and Aang being the Spirits damnedAvatar,but he takes care of them anyway. They’re all just children of war, and Sokka refuses to let them grow in it alone.or, Sokka learns how to take care of his friends, wins a war, kisses his girlfriend, and becomes an honorary older brother to just about everyone. Not necessarily in that order.
Relationships: Aang & Sokka (Avatar), Katara & Sokka (Avatar), Sokka & Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Suki (Avatar), Toph Beifong & Sokka
Comments: 25
Kudos: 339





	though your heart is far too young to realize

**Author's Note:**

> this is long as fuck i am so sorry? i meant this to be 5k tops? but yeah a sokka character study because he deserves one! just following him through canon  
> anyway. i love sokka so much so so much ur doing great bro! i have a lot of thoughts about them being children in a war and that shows.  
> title is from light by sleeping at last  
> i hope you enjoy! comments and kudos mean the world to me <3 and come talk to me on twitter, @lcvelaces!

It was midnight when Katara was born.

It was midnight, and it was the winter solstice, and Sokka doesn’t _really_ remember the night. The colors in his mind are muted and gray. He remembers Gran Gran walking him around the village, and going to the tiny shop they used to have and he got a free scoop of ice cream because “he was about to become a big brother”. He remembers his father pacing. He remembers his mother crying. He wasn’t allowed in the room, and he was rubbing his eyes and sitting in the snow outside the igloo, and he could hear his mother crying and hear his father’s footsteps, heavy and strong.

He remembers the moon, which is a strange thing to remember. It was full.

It was midnight, and Katara cried so loudly. Sokka didn’t know babies could cry that loud. He said as much to his father, who laughed and scooped Sokka up in his arms. His father was crying too, but it was the silent kind. His mother was exhausted but she held this tiny thing in her arms, and it was wrinkled and angry. His mother wasn’t crying, but she had tearstains to show that she was.

“This is your sister,” his mother said, and in his memory her face is blurry. “This is Katara. You’re going to have to protect her, now.”

Sokka was almost two years old. To be completely honest, he could have made this all up. Memories from a two year old aren’t to be trusted. But he nodded sagely to his mother, and touched little Katara’s nose. She was so little. He was going to protect her, now.

He wasn’t allowed to hold her, because he was too young, but he stared at her so closely. His mother told him that Katara probably couldn’t focus on his face, because he was too close, but it was okay, because it’s not like she knew what was happening yet. Her eyes were so blue. They were like his. Memories from this long ago are gray and hazy but not Katara’s eyes. 

Later that night, when his mother was asleep, they wrapped Katara up so tightly in blankets and put her in a small cradle. His father sat up all night and watched her like she was a miracle. Sokka sat with him, and he was wholly mystified by the bundle of life. 

Eventually, he stood up and walked over as well as a two year old can walk anywhere, and he pressed his lips to her forehead like he had seen his father do to his mother. And he felt like he had to tell Katara something. He felt like if he didn’t say something to her, he would bubble over and he wouldn’t quite be a person.

Maybe his memories are messed up. He was only two. Two year olds don’t tend to think like that.

He pressed his lips to her ear and whispered “I love you,” though. And it was true. Katara had only been in the world for a few hours, but Sokka loved her so, so much. He was going to protect her, now. That was his job. Sokka, the protector. Sokka, the boy. “I love you,” he whispered in her ear, and he meant it.

That part of his memory is true. Sokka might have made up his thoughts and Sokka might have made up his mother’s face but he remembers the fragile skin of Katara’s ear and the soft spot on her head and bubbling of emotions and the inability to be a person.

This is Sokka’s oldest memory. He doesn’t know anything before then. It’s probably because children don’t usually remember things when they’re that young unless they’re terribly significant, but it might be because Sokka isn’t sure that he existed before Katara did. Sokka doesn’t know why he would be around if he wasn’t there to protect her.

So he does. Katara breathes, and Sokka watches her in her cradle, and he loves her, and she doesn’t know just how much.

* * *

Hilariously enough, Katara is _such_ a potty-mouth.

See, Sokka spent _years_ of his life never saying a single curse word because he had a little sister to think about, he couldn’t accidentally say something in front of her and ruin her innocence, et cetera, et cetera. And then, he walked in on his eleven year old sister as she was trying to brush out her braid, swearing _violently_. Eleven years old! 

Sokka was so mad, because he spent so long being uncool with his friends because he wouldn’t say fuck. He was thirteen! Life’s peak was sitting in a circle with your friends and everyone taking turns saying a swear word they knew, laughing as the words got worse and worse. Sokka sat out and watched because, again, he didn’t want to accidentally get used to saying cuss words and accidentally let one slip in front of his innocent baby sister.

But she’s _such_ a potty-mouth. She doesn’t swear often, but when she does, it’s ruthless, and you might actually learn a new word or two. Sokka still isn’t sure where she heard all of them, but he doesn’t question it, to be completely honest.

He was thirteen, and all of his best friends were at least a month older than him. That was the year when he kissed his friend Kala behind her house and it was horrible. Sokka was a bad kisser, and so was she, and then Kala’s older sister was trying to sneak out of the house at that exact time and chewed out Sokka for messing with her sister so bad that Sokka didn’t talk to Kala for two weeks. That was also the year that he went on a picnic by the ocean with his best friend Lanaka, and he was very sweet, and then he kissed Sokka, which was a surprise. 

It wasn’t that Sokka didn’t know that guys could like guys or girls could like girls, everyone knew that old woman Haka and old woman Ran waited out their husbands so they could spend their lives together, and Kala actually had two dads. It was just that Sokka didn’t know that _he_ liked guys. But he was kissing Lanaka, and Lanaka was kissing him, and actually kissing could be a _lot_ better than being yelled at by your crush’s older sister, and Tui and La, is he using his tongue?

“Lanaka,” he said a few moments later, “I think I like guys.”

Lanaka laughed at him, because Sokka is a dumbass, he knows it. “No shit,” Lanaka said.

“But I like girls too? I kissed Kala a while ago and I liked that.”

“You can like both,” Lanaka said. “That’s allowed.”

Huh. “Okay,” Sokka said, and then he kissed Lanaka again.

Thirteen was an interesting year for Sokka.

Thirteen was also the year that everyone went away.

Because the age of being old enough to leave for the war was fourteen, and Sokka was at least a month younger than all of his friends. And they all went away. They all went to fight. His father left him, and said “Sokka, you’re going to have to take care of the tribe now, you’re the only man left,” and then he was gone, and Sokka was holding a boomerang and snow. All of his friends went to fight. Most of them didn’t say goodbye. Lanaka did, and he kissed Sokka. Kala did, and she hugged him close. 

All of his friends went to fight, and Sokka was just a month too young. All of his friends went to fight, and Sokka was the only teenager left. All of his friends went to fight, and Sokka taught himself, practiced throwing his boomerang until he could do it in his sleep, and then tried to master that too. 

A month later, Sokka didn’t get to go ice dodging. 

And he still didn’t curse, because he had no one to prove he was cool to anymore.

* * *

Sokka’s last memory of his mother is also gray, but not because it is horribly old and hazy. It’s gray because of the sky, because of the black ash mixing with the white snow. It’s gray because of grief.

He didn’t even see her before she was gone. He never even got to say goodbye. Katara did, she ran to their house and found her before she died- before she was killed- before she was gone. Katara carries her memory in crystal color. Katara carries her grief like it is something she has to remember, something she has to prick her finger with if she gets too comfortable.

Sokka wonders if that was Katara’s first memory. The ash and the snow and the absence of a mother. Sokka’s first memory is gray and wrinkled in the corners with age and it is love and a little sister and tiny lips pressed to a tinier ear. Katara’s first memory is war.

* * *

See, Sokka isn’t _really_ sexist. Or at least, he doesn’t mean to be.

The Water Tribe is about patriarchy, but it’s not in a terrible way, Sokka doesn’t think. The men are the leaders but that doesn’t mean the women are weaker. The women have a different skill set than the men, and so they do different jobs.

But Katara does _not_ like that. She is sure that women can fight and women can be just as much leaders as men and sure, Sokka can probably get behind that. However, Katara is still his little sister, and riling her up is absolutely hilarious, especially since she’s a waterbender. Yeah, Sokka usually ends up soaked, but it’s funny. Sokka likes being funny.

So when he’s being an asshole that day, it’s not as much seriousness as it is boredom. But Katara goes on her rant like she always does, and normally that’s fine! But then she breaks the ice and there’s a boy falling out of a glowing iceberg. But then she breaks the ice and there’s a kid, just a little younger than Katara herself. He has an arrow on his forehead and on his hands and feet. He’s wearing orange, which is typically Air Nomad colors, but hey, Sokka isn’t one to judge someone else’s fashion. Maybe the kid’s just a fan of orange.

He sneezes and launches fifteen feet in the air. Sokka doesn’t think he’s just a fan of orange.

* * *

When they go on the trip, when they leave the Water Tribe, Sokka is fifteen and a half. Katara is a few weeks away from being fourteen. Aang is twelve. And they are all so much older than that, and not just in the way that Aang is technically one hundred and twelve.

The thing about wars is that they tend to age the people in them far quicker than you would expect. Katara is already strong and brave, and she shouldn’t have to be. Sokka spent being thirteen kissing people and being a dumbass. Katara spent thirteen taking care of a village that shrank more and more each day. Aang is twelve and he’s the _Avatar_ . Aang is twelve and the fate of the world rests on his shoulders. The kid shouldn’t have to fight anyone! He shouldn’t have to be brave! He’s _twelve_!

So Sokka tries to remind the other two what being a kid is like. Sokka is charismatic and funny, and he uses these traits to his advantage. He’s silly and wild and he watches Aang and Katara closely, and makes sure they crack a smile or at least make fun of him when they think he doesn’t notice. Because that’s what they _should_ be doing. They should be doing the stupidest things imaginable and then regretting them a week later. They should be children.

Sokka knows that he should probably be a child too, but he’s been the man of the village for two years. He’s used to it. He was the only warrior of the Southern Water Tribe, and now he has to protect these two kids who are caught in a war too big for them. Sokka, the man in the shape of a boy. 

He’s fifteen, and he can protect them. He’s had a childhood. Katara and Aang haven’t. He can’t give it to them, no matter how much he tries, but he can at least pretend to. That might have to be enough.

* * *

Katara was four when she waterbended for the first time.

So, for all of five and most of six, Sokka _also_ tried to waterbend. He wasn’t successful, of course. Katara was born at midnight on the winter solstice which is just _begging_ for her to be a waterbender. Sokka was born at four in the afternoon in June, so the chances were less likely.

Once, a few weeks after her first time waterbending and a few days after her second, Sokka asked her what it felt like.

“Maybe a tugging in my stomach,” Katara said, “or maybe in my heart? I saw the water and my whole chest was tingly. I just moved my hands and suddenly I knew the water would move with me.”

Sokka stared at the water and he waited for his chest to tingle, for his hands to make water move with them, and it never happened. Sokka was so, so jealous of Katara. Sometimes he would look up at the moon and think that if he is supposed to protect her, maybe she should be less talented than he is. If he is supposed to protect her, he should be the special one.

But he wasn’t, and he isn’t. Sokka isn’t a waterbender. Sokka isn’t a chosen one, and he wasn’t born at midnight. 

* * *

It happens the night after they leave the Southern Air Temple. They’re all a little shaken, which is to be expected, but Aang more than most. 

Sokka saw him turn into the Avatar, saw his eyes and tattoos glow so brightly that it hurt to look at him, and suddenly he understood exactly why so many people are afraid of the Avatar. Because this is a child, yes, he is small and growing and he smiles so brightly, but he is floating into the air and suddenly he looks so _old_. He looks so, so old.

Sokka knows that the war makes adults of them all. Even the brightest, peppiest child.

But it happens the night after they leave. They brought Appa down to some island, an uninhabited one, a peaceful one, and laid out their beds and slept. Now, Sokka sleeps like the dead. It takes quite a lot to get him up in the mornings, and by “quite a lot” he means excited airbending standing him up and his sister splashing water on his face.

But he woke up. And he isn’t sure why, because nothing is horribly wrong right now- no firebenders are attacking, the kids aren’t shouting, the sun hasn’t come up. And then Sokka hears it- sniffling.

Someone is crying, and it certainly isn’t his sister. Katara doesn’t cry often, and when she does, it is a loud affair. If she is anything, Katara is self-righteous and stubborn, and she is also thirteen, so most emotions come out in the form of tears. It is a loud affair.

So that means it’s Aang. As slowly as possible, Sokka rolls over and looks at where he should be asleep, and yeah- he’s sitting in a ball, shaking ever so slightly, biting his fist to keep quiet. And Saints be damned, he’s just a kid, and Sokka is supposed to protect them both. 

He sits up. Aang freezes. He looks at Katara at the same time Sokka does, but she’s sleeping peacefully. Sokka gets up slowly, leaving time for Aang to walk away and leave, but he doesn’t. He sits there, hiccuping every now and then.

Sokka sits next to him. “You okay, Aang?” he whispers, and Aang promptly bursts into tears again, which isn’t much of a surprise to him. Sokka wraps his arms around him, and Aang presses his face into Sokka’s coat, and he cries for a long, long time.

Sokka isn’t entirely good at this. He has known for a long time that he’s supposed to take care of Katara, but she’s such a good kid, and she barely needs him nowadays. Most of his love comes in the form of half-shouted insults and punches to the shoulder and water splashing on his face as his sister tries to catch a fish. Sometimes it’s like Katara barely needs him at all, or at least not as much as Sokka needs her.

But Aang? Aang has been asleep for a hundred years. Aang is the last of his kind. Aang is alone, standing on a bridge in a nation that has been long forgotten by history, staff in his hand, and he has no one else there to catch him if he slips and falls off.

So Sokka tries. He pats Aang’s back and hugs him tight, keeps him close and warm, and Aang cries and mourns all of his people that have been lost for a long, long time.

Eventually, Aang sits up, and wipes his eyes, and sniffs again. “I’m sorry,” he whispers- or he tries to whisper, but his voice is hoarse and cracks a few times. “I didn’t mean to-”

“Hey,” Sokka says, “it’s alright, kid. We all have bad nights, yeah?”

Aang nods. His eyes are red. “I- can you stay over here tonight?”

Sokka is reminded painfully of the nights Katara slept next to him after their mother died, curled up and small. “Of course,” he says. “We’re family now, right? I’ll stay. You need to sleep, buddy.”

“Yeah,” Aang agrees, nodding again. He wipes his eyes on his arm. Sokka takes off his coat, making a mental note to clean it tomorrow. Sokka lies down on Aang’s sleeping bag, and Aang curls up next to him.

Aang passes out a few minutes later, but Sokka doesn’t. He stays awake for a long time.

* * *

Yue is beautiful.

Far too beautiful for Sokka, if he’s being honest. He jokes and he acts like a child and seven times out of ten, he’s not even putting on a show. That’s just how he _is_. But Yue laughs at him, and she’s beautiful and kind and wonderful.

Sokka knew that they weren’t supposed to last. He’s with the Avatar, and the Avatar has to master all the elements. They never meant to stay in the Northern Water Tribe. But he liked her, and he wanted to kiss her, maybe, and he wanted to run his hands through her hair and see her laugh. Yue couldn’t, though, of course not. She was too beautiful for a guy like him.

And then she became the moon. If it were any other person, Sokka would probably think it was strange or maybe a little funny. But Yue kissed him before she rose with the moon, and now she watches over him. Yue kissed him, and she was glowing so bright that it hurt his eyes to look at her. He didn’t look away, though.

Sometimes, when the sky is clear, Sokka looks up and makes the constellations that he’s known since he was a little boy laying on his back in the Southern Water Tribe with his mother, one anecdote from him equaling another lesson on the stars from her. Sokka looks up at the sky, sees the moon crowning all of those stars, and smiles because he thinks it’s what Yue would have wanted.

Katara and Aang tease him for it, of course, but they never really mean it. He never stares at the moon for too long.

* * *

A picture in Sokka’s mind: his father, a proud man, the leader of the Southern Water Tribe, sitting crouched at a grave. He places a stone down.

Katara slept with Sokka most nights after their mother died, because she was so, so sad and there was nothing she could do. And their father was mourning, and neither of them wanted to disturb him.

One morning, the two of them went fishing. Neither were quite good, since Sokka was nine and Katara was eight, but they managed to get four. Katara led Sokka once they went back to land, and she took them to the grave by the sea.

They each put another stone down, and they left a fish for her.

When they showed their father the three fish left, he smiled and picked Katara up in his arms and ruffled Sokka’s hair. “I’m so proud of you,” he said. “My brave children.”

* * *

And now there’s another kid on the team. Her name is Toph, she’s a little feral, and she curses more than Katara does. She’s twelve like Aang. Sometimes, Sokka wants to cry.

It’s been _so_ long since he’s seen another person his age. Honestly, fucking Prince Zuko is probably the closest to another teenager he’s seen since- well, since all of his friends left the Water Tribe. 

Katara is a good sister, and Sokka protects her as best he can (if he gets a chance to before she protects herself) and Aang is funny and sweet, and Toph is wild and breaks the rules just to show that she can, but Sokka is fifteen (rounding on sixteen) and he hasn’t talked to another teenager in years. These kids are his friends, and they are good, but Sokka can’t shake the feeling of just being lonely.

Suki was good. Suki is fifteen, and she was tough and strong and taught Sokka something about being a warrior. He misses her fiercely, even though he only had a few days to get to know her. Suki is good, and smart, and a little silly sometimes. Suki has been a Kyoshi warrior since she was able to be one. Suki kissed him on the cheek and sent him on his way.

He doesn’t know her terribly well, but he wishes that he did. He misses Suki.

Suki and Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation. The only real teenagers he’s seen since he was thirteen and left alone on the ocean with his father’s voice ringing in his ears. 

Sokka’s job is to protect Katara, right? He’s the protector. He’s the oldest kid here, and he’s decided to take it upon himself to watch out for all these kids. Katara’s almost fourteen now, and Aang and Toph are still twelve, and Sokka’s rounding the corner on sixteen and he has to take care of them all. Sokka is supposed to protect Katara but their group grows and grows and it’s not like he can let these tiny kids do what they want without any help.

He just wishes he had a friend with him. Any friend who is fifteen or older. Please. Why are kids so energetic, honestly. Sokka has energy to spare, but he doesn’t use it _all the time._ Has Aang ever learned to take a breath between sentences? Does Toph ever get tired of pelting rocks at the back of Katara’s neck? Will Katara ever stop rambling about the latest bit of history she learned at the latest place they stopped?

Like, sure, Sokka is always tapping his foot and drumming his fingers on Appa’s saddle but he normally saves his energy for outbursts. The kids just _keep going._

He’ll survive. It’ll be fine. 

* * *

“Hey,” Toph says, and Sokka smiles.

He then realizes that Toph can’t see that smile, so he says, “What’s up?”

She sits down next to him and she hits the ground harder than she should given her size. Sokka thinks she might have made the ground move to be more comfortable as she sat. “Bored. Aang and Katara are doing their water thing. I fucking hate water.”

Sokka blinks. “Don’t let Katara hear you say that word,” he says.

“Oh, boo hoo. I’ve heard her say worse.”

Sokka racks his brain for a worse word than fuck, and then decides that he really doesn’t want to. “Whatever. And I hate to disappoint, but I’m not very interesting right now. Just, you know,” he scrapes a rock against his boomerang in an attempt to sharpen it, “making sure I’m always prepared.”

Toph makes a face. “Can you put your boomerang on the ground?”

Sokka, fairly confused, does so. After a moment of Toph scrunching her face, she smacks her hand on the ground and a foot away from her pops an exact replica of Sokka’s boomerang, but made of sharpened stone. “There. No need to sharpen it, it’s completely pointy.”

He picks it up, gently. “Huh. That’s cool.”

Toph shrugs, leaning back onto a slab of stone that wasn’t there a second ago. “Yeah. It is, isn’t it.”

“Do you want to do anything in particular?” Sokka asks, since he really can’t think of anything and usually Toph prefers to do her own thing. “We can start dinner, even though it’s Katara’s night to make it.”

Toph hesitates, which is incredibly unlike her. “I was wondering,” she says, and again, Toph isn’t one to _wonder_. She knows or she doesn’t. “Would you do something for me?”

“Yeah, sure,” Sokka says. “What do you need?”

“This is going to sound weird,” she says, “but can I touch your face?”

Sokka blinks. “Okay, it does sound a little weird,” he says right off the bat, “but okay? Is there a reason, or…?”

Toph huffs. Sokka is sure that somewhere, the earth is beating itself up. “I can see with my feet and shit. But I only get your like… general shapes. And I wanted to feel what you look like. It’s stupid, okay?”

Actually, it’s incredibly clever, and Sokka tells her so. “You can touch my face all you want,” he says. “It’s not as if I’ve been keeping a skincare routine lately.”

So Toph does. Her fingers are light, but she runs them over his jawline, up to his cheekbones, the tip of his nose. She feels out his bone structure, Sokka guesses, or something like that. He closes his eyes and her fingers pass over his eyelids, and then over his eyebrows, smoothing them out. She tugs on his ears. “You do have elephant ears,” she says triumphantly, and Sokka doesn’t even bother getting mad. He just sighs.

She touches the scar on his chin, the little dent in his bone. “Where did you get this?”

“Boomerang,” Sokka says brightly. “It was one of my first times trying to use it. I didn’t exactly catch it correctly. Y’know, I wasn’t always this perfect at everything I do.”

Toph laughs. She smacks the palm of her hand to Sokka’s forehead. “You’re an idiot.”

Sokka smiles. “Yeah, I know.”

“Thanks for letting me look at you,” she says.

“I’m really glad you asked,” Sokka says.

* * *

Suki’s back Suki’s back Suki’s back Suki’s back Suki’s back Suki’s back Suki’s back Suki’s back Suki’s back Suki’s back Suki’s back Suki’s back Suki’s back Suki’s back!

* * *

Suki almost kisses him, and Sokka almost lets her, but it’s late and the moon is shining and it almost feels like a disrespect.

He knows that Yue isn’t coming back. That’s not the issue. And he knows that the moon is always technically in the sky, even if you don’t notice it during the day. But it almost feels like a disrespect to the girl who saved the moon, to the girl who became the moon, and Sokka never wants to disrespect her.

Yue was the second person who laid down her life for Sokka in a very personal way, and it was like a shock to his systems. Yue was barely sixteen, just a few months older than Sokka, and she did what Sokka is afraid he doesn’t have the strength to do.

The first person was his mother.

Eventually he does kiss Suki, in the sunshine, and it’s nice. He really likes Suki. He thinks she is wonderful and strong and beautiful. Too beautiful for a guy like him.

* * *

Sokka was nine when his mother died. Katara was eight. They are both children of war, through and through.

Sokka and Katara, brother and sister, eldest kids of their tribe and therefore charged with taking care of it. Sokka was always bitter that the adults that remained, the mothers and grandmothers, didn’t do anything to help. Maybe if his mother would have been there, it would have been okay. But she wasn’t.

Sokka taught himself to paint his face like a warrior does. Katara taught herself how to move water and later taught herself how to fight with it. Sokka is a warrior, he is supposed to be, but sometimes he forgets how much of a warrior Katara is, too. She was the last one to see their mother. Sometimes when she smiles it’s more like she’s baring her teeth.

Two things Sokka hates: his flawed memory and the war. He can remember back to when he wasn’t yet two and picture newborn Katara’s eyes with perfect clarity, but his mother’s face is blurred and wrong. The war took his mother away from him, and now there is only Katara, despite the fact that she’s younger than him and should be allowed a childhood, too.

* * *

Suki’s gone, as soon as she came. She has business to attend to, and it’s important and she needs to do it. But Sokka will miss her. Sokka will miss having someone else to talk to that isn’t three years younger than him or his sister.

But now they’re in Ba Sing Se, and things are just _so_ fucked up. _Incredibly_ fucked up. “There is no war in Ba Sing Se,” Joo Dee says, and just. What the fuck. _No war in Ba Sing Se_ Sokka’s ass.

Sokka makes a plan.

Obviously, they need to talk to the Earth King. There are two problems, though: apparently things take a long, long time to get sent through in this city, and it will be a while before they talk to _anyone._ And also, none of them are any good at speaking to royalty besides Aang, but he’s also a twelve year old and has the attention span of one. Well, okay, Toph was raised to be noble, but the one braincell she has she purposefully doesn’t use out of spite, so.

Sokka makes a plan, and it involves a coup and attacking the castle with nothing but the Avatar and his boomerang. Very quickly he realizes that this plan will not work, so he revises it: wait for the Earth King and keep the kids busy looking for Appa.

It took Sokka a few days to realize why Aang reacted so badly to Appa being taken, and then he remembered the night after the Southern Air Temple, and he remembered Aang crying alone in the middle of the night. Aang, Appa, and Momo are the only things left of the Air Nomads. Appa has been with Aang since the beginning. Aang can’t lose him.

They’re searching the city, putting up posters and wandering around at night, no matter what Joo Dee thinks is professional. Toph has said what she thinks of Joo Dee many, many times, and most of those times she has been chewed out by Katara for her language. 

They search and search. Their house in Ba Sing Se is very nice. It has four rooms that they could sleep in, but they stay in the main room in sleeping bags, because at this point they can’t imagine not sleeping within ten feet of everyone else. And okay, Sokka is a heavy sleeper, but he is able to notice when Toph curls against him some nights and then moves away before he wakes up. There was a night when Aang moved to his own room so he wouldn’t disturb anyone and cried, and Sokka brought him back and let him put his sleeping back right next to his. Katara is quiet with her grief, but when she wakes up from a nightmare, he squeezes her hand and kisses her forehead and tugs on her hair loops until she smiles.

Sokka has realized that he’s basically the big brother here, and he takes his duties seriously. Protector. None of them really need to be protected, Toph being a master earthbender and Katara being a master waterbender and Aang being the Saints damned _Avatar_ , but he takes care of them anyway. They’re all just children of war, and Sokka refuses to let them grow in it alone.

They search for Appa. Things go to hell very quickly.

* * *

Ba Sing Se is taken. Aang has a scar on his back that will never go away. Katara wakes up from nightmares most nights. Toph wants to fight the world. Sokka is terrified. They’re all in Fire Nation clothes.

Sokka does what he always does when he’s worried: he plans something and gets something done. The Day of Black Sun is coming.

* * *

Here’s the thing: Sokka has always known that he’s the only normal one in the group.

He makes up for it by taking care of the others, and he’s the resident big brother, and he protects them all as much as he can. Sokka laughs and jokes and is generally ridiculous because he loves them all, he cares about them, and he wants them to have some normal things to enjoy. Like Sokka making a bad joke that’s just so stupid they all have to laugh.

But he’s the only nonbender. He’s the one who doesn’t have powers like the rest of them, and he can’t help but somehow feel bad about it, like he isn't really pulling his weight. There’s Toph, the master earthbender, the one who can still see despite being blind. There’s Katara, his little sister, the master waterbender who is fierce and is the mom friend to all of them. And there’s Aang, who is literally the Avatar. Sokka doesn’t have any powers. He has his boomerang, and he has his fists, and that’s about it.

Master Piandao helps even the score, a little. 

Piandao is a good man. He’s kind, and harsh, and determined to teach Sokka to be all he can be. And for once, Sokka isn’t the oldest! He’s sixteen now, and Piandao teaches him like it, and Sokka doesn’t even mind. Sokka is a pretty self-aware guy, and he knows that despite the fact that he’s the oldest of the gang (The GAang? Team BoomerAang? no one ever likes his name ideas), he’s still not that old. He’s only a teenager. And Piandao doesn’t seem to mind when he’s being generally ridiculous.

Sokka picks up sword fighting quickly. It’s kind of fun- the back and forth, the rhythm of clacking the metal against metal. He thinks Katara would like it, because it almost reminds him of how she waterbends. Back and forth. 

He’s _good._ He’s good with a sword. Two weeks go by, and he learns how to fight with Piandao and becomes something good to his equal. He comes back to camp every night, but he falls asleep immediately most times.

Near the end of the second week, before he has to leave, most of the others are asleep. Katara is awake, though. She’s waterbending. She has water cupped in her hands, and she’s freezing it and unfreezing it over and over. Sokka isn’t sure if she’s even aware that she’s doing it- her eyes are a million miles away. She looks tired.

“Katara,” he says softly, and she blinks. The water freezes into a dagger, so sharp Sokka wants to warn her not to cut herself. “How are they doing?”

She sighs, and the water unfreezes, hovering above her palms in an ever moving orb. “They’re okay,” she says. “They miss you. I’m not as funny as you, apparently.”

“Well, humor was never your style,” Sokka jokes, and she smiles. The water freezes in the shape of a polar bear. 

“I miss you too, you know,” Katara says. “The others aren’t the only ones.”

Sokka smiles, one of his half-grins that means he’s happy. “I think I’m almost done. Piandao won’t have much to teach me in a few days. I miss you guys. I’m sorry I’ve been delaying the mission.”

Katara shakes her head. The water unfreezes. “You don’t need to apologize. You’re the schedule guy, right? You know how long we have until the eclipse.”

“That’s me,” Sokka says. “The schedule and jokes guy.”

The water freezes into a boomerang. “You’re a fighter, too,” Katara says. “You take care of us. I notice when the others get up at night sometimes and you let them stay with you.”

“Yeah, well, I’m the oldest,” Sokka says. The water unfreezes. “I think it’s my job.”

Katara scoots from her sleeping bag to Sokka’s and he puts an arm around her shoulder. The water freezes into a tiny sword and she puts it in his hand. “I’m glad you’re here,” she says. “I miss you.” Sokka remembers that she’s barely fourteen. She looks so tired.

“I’m glad you’re here too,” he says, and kisses her forehead. He holds out the tiny sword like it’s a grand weapon, something like the one he’s building with Piandao. “I’ll be back in a few days.”

Katara smiles, and leans in to his side like she used to when they were kids. “Love you,” she says. Her eyes close, and the sword unfreezes in Sokka’s hand. Water splashes to the ground.

* * *

“Honestly, I’m not sure I can remember what my mother looked like,” Sokka says. “It really seems like, my whole life, Katara’s been the one looking out for me. She’s always been the one that’s there, and now, when I try to remember my mom, Katara’s face is the only face I can picture.”

Katara never tells him that she was listening.

* * *

Katara is crying, and Sokka doesn’t know what to do.

Katara either cries as she’s yelling because she’s self-righteous and fourteen or she cries silently, dealing with her grief on her own. But now she is crying, not silently but not loudly, and her hands are shaking violently. Sokka sits in the forest and holds her.

He won’t forget the feeling of being bloodbended quickly. He was running towards Katara with a sword, he was going to cut her, and then he was going to cut Aang, and there was nothing he could do about it. He struggled and resisted as much as he could but there was nothing he could do but obey what Hama wanted.

Katara can do that now. Katara has done that. She made Hama stop. She made Hama bow to her. And now she’s weeping under the full moon, because no fourteen year old should have to deal with this kind of power. Sokka looks up at the sky like he expects Yue to help, but the moon is silent.

Bloodbending. Tui and La, Katara doesn’t deserve this. The power has always existed, sure, but she shouldn’t have to deal with it. Sokka is sure that Katara will understand it in time, and that maybe she can use it for healing, but a minute ago she moved her hands like she was a puppetmaster pulling the strings and Katara has never been cruel.

Katara is hotheaded, and Katara can hold a grudge, and Katara is a powerful waterbender, but she has never been cruel. She never wanted to be cruel.

Sokka holds her on the forest floor. Aang is standing by their side like he wants to give her a hug but doesn’t know how, and Toph just looks confused. Katara is crying and Sokka wants nothing more than to help her but he doesn’t know how.

He holds her, because that’s something he can do.

* * *

The Day of Black Sun comes. Aang is stressed beyond belief, and refuses to sleep, and Sokka is very sure that he’s been hallucinating. He sleeps for about sixteen hours before the invasion, though, and the bags under his eyes are pretty much gone when he wakes up. Sokka is glad their bed worked.

Sokka fumbles when he tries to speak, because of _course_ he does. That seems par for the course. He’s good with a sword, and generally he’s good at talking to people, but he got so nervous about saying what needed to be done and he rambled and his father had to do it.

No one will hold him accountable. He’s sixteen. Logically, he knows that. He also knows that everyone is aware that he was the one who came up with the plan, even if he wasn’t the one who told them all about it. In all regards, Sokka should be proud of himself. But he can’t be, because he fucked up the stupid speech. Damn it.

“Sokka, that speech wasn’t your moment of truth,” Aang says, and Sokka wants to believe him.

* * *

The Day of Black Sun is over. They failed, because of _course_ they failed. When has their team ever been able to catch a break?

Sokka had a few minutes of leading, and it felt good. It felt like he was ready to take on the world. When he was in front of his men, he couldn’t fail. His mind wouldn’t dare fail him then.

But he’s on Appa now, and there are kids with him that he doesn’t know terribly well, and he’s trying to hide his tears as he looks out at the endless expanse of land below him.

Suki has been taken somewhere. Sokka’s father has been taken somewhere. And Sokka should have been able to save them, shouldn’t he? He came up with the plan. He was supposed to make sure that everyone was safe. They weren’t, though.

Eventually they make it to the Western Air Temple, and they’ll be okay. Sokka knows they will be. _But Suki_ , he reminds himself, _but dad. They won’t be okay._

Toph sneaks up behind him as he stands near the edge and puts a hand on Sokka’s arm. “Your heart is fast,” she says. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he replies easily. “Just thinking.”

“It’s late,” she says. “The sun is down. Let’s go to bed.”

It sounds so much like the things Sokka has said to all of them for months now, trying to get the saviors of the world to go to sleep, that he aches. “Okay,” he says.

Toph smiles. They walk, and she holds his arm.

“Wait,” Sokka says, “you’re _blind_. How do you even know that the sun is-”

Toph cuts him off with a laugh, one of her loud and triumphant ones, and Sokka’s heart probably has returned to normal now. Toph seems much happier.

* * *

Firebenders never seemed like people to Sokka growing up. They were faceless monsters wearing masks. They punched and fire flew from their fists. They made the white snow turn gray.

So when Sokka saw Prince Zuko, it was strange, because here is this boy who has a very memorable face, and he’s my age, and he’s a firebender. 

Suddenly, the firebenders were people. All of their faces were Zuko, a heavy scar on their eyes, shouting everything they said. Zuko was the face of the enemy, and oh, what a significant face it was.

* * *

“Okay,” Sokka says, and Zuko looks up from the flame he’s holding in his palms. “We’re going to talk now.”

Zuko blinks. “Is this another death threat,” he says blankly, “because your sister already gave me one a few days ago. I’m not going to hurt Aang, I don’t want to hurt Aang-”

“No no no no,” Sokka says, putting his hands up in a truce. “Not what I meant. What I _mean_ is that I’ve been the oldest guy here since we got Aang out of the iceberg and now that someone is finally my age, and I want to talk to you.”

Zuko looks so confused by this, and Sokka sighs. He sits on the stone ground in front of Zuko’s sleeping bag (it’s so far away from the others; Sokka can’t get him to come closer), and grins. “I want to be friends,” he says plainly. “Like, I know you tried to hunt us down a lot, but Toph seems to like you a lot, and I trust her. And so far you haven’t been an asshole to the kids, which gets you points in my book. They’re super easy to be assholes to.”

“The kids?” Zuko asks, still looking bewildered by the concept of friendship.

“Yeah, the kids,” Sokka says easily. “I know that they’re all super powerful benders and incredible at what they do, but Katara’s the oldest of them and she’s only fourteen. Aang and Toph are both twelve. They’re kids.”

“Technically, we’re kids, too,” Zuko says.

Sokka rolls his eyes. “Well, yeah, _technically_. But we’re the oldest ones here, so we pretty much have to be bros.”

“Bros,” Zuko says flatly.

“Yeah! Cool teenagers solidarity.”

Zuko says, “Sokka, I’ve known you for about six days, and I can definitely say that you are not cool.”

And Sokka smiles, because he does know that he isn’t cool, but also because Zuko is joking with him now. One step closer to friendship. “Booo,” he says brightly, and Zuko smiles. “I’m the coolest guy around, thanks.”

“The twelve year old Avatar is cooler than you.”

“Well, at least I’m definitely cooler than you! Literally! The air over here is like, super hot. It feels nice, actually, how do you do that.”

Zuko shrugs. “Firebender thing. We tend to run hot. I haven’t been paying attention, though, I guess I was making it warmer by accident.”

Sokka, because he’s a genius, has an idea. “Hey,” he says, “why don’t you sleep closer to the group? It gets pretty chilly at nights, and we’d all like to see you more. You’re always busy brooding over in the corner.”

Zuko scoffs at the last part, but he nods. “Yeah, I guess I can come over,” he says. “Though I’m pretty sure Katara won’t like seeing me around.”

“Oh, don’t worry about her. She holds a mean grudge, but she’ll understand eventually, I hope.”

“I’m not mad at her,” Zuko says. “I understand her the most, to be honest. I don’t get why you all are so keen to make friends. I was awful, and I hunted the Avatar for years-”

“Zuko,” Sokka interrupts, “you don’t have to keep making up for stuff we’ve already forgiven you for.”

“Except for carrying Toph around,” Zuko says, and Sokka sees him smile. “I think she’ll make me do that for the rest of her life.”

Sokka rolls his eyes. “Yeah, she does that. She’s adopted you, I think. Get used to being a big brother figure. I think she’s collecting them.”

Zuko pauses, and for a moment Sokka thinks he’s about to cry, but he doesn’t. “I’ll do my best,” he says.

“Good,” Sokka replies, and he punches Zuko’s arm lightly, like Toph would. “C’mon. Let’s go warm up the kids.”

“We are still kids, Sokka-”

* * *

So, Zuko’s interesting.

He’s teaching Aang firebending, and after their little field trip it seems to be going well. Just about every day, when he’s doing his daily brooding, Sokka will make his way to Zuko’s sleeping bag and talk to him about nothing and the stupidest things ever, and this time it isn’t because he’s trying to help Zuko be less emo and stuff (though that’s part of it), but it’s because he _can_. Zuko is sixteen, just a few months older than Sokka, and they’re the oldest and Sokka can complain about Aang never being able to stop talking without feeling bad about it.

And it does seem to help Zuko a little, too. The guy is so closed off and so sad all the time. Sokka wants him to realize that hey, maybe you can have a good time, too. It’s okay. 

Zuko makes fun of Sokka for naming himself “Wang Fire” while undercover, and Sokka makes fun of Zuko for the fact that the cabbage guy found them more than Zuko did. It’s all very stupid and pointless but Sokka’s glad to have a friend, and he thinks Zuko is, too.

It comes to a head in Boiling Rock, of all places. Zuko gets arrested to let Sokka make out with Suki again. Sokka does everything he can to save his girlfriend, his father, and his sort of new best friend (?) from the prison all while acting like a perfect guard. And he _does_.

On the war balloon, Suki falls asleep with her head in Sokka’s lap almost immediately, and he doesn’t blame her. Hakoda is at the wheel steering them home- or, rather, to the Western Air Temple. Zuko is sitting across from Sokka. 

They stare at each other for a minute or two before bursting into laughter.

“We did that,” Sokka says, trying not to laugh loud enough that Suki wakes up.. “We broke into and broke out of a perfectly guarded prison, right? I didn’t make that up?”

“Nope,” Zuko says, still shaking with laughter, and Sokka is suddenly aware that he’s never seen Zuko laugh before. “Not made up. We beat fucking _Boiling Rock_.”

Sokka is grinning, and Zuko is grinning back, and they’re friends, now. 

“What do you think Aang will say when we turn up with no fish,” Sokka whispers, and they both break down laughing all over again.

* * *

They make it back to the Western Air Temple, and Katara hugs Sokka tight and then hugs their father tighter. Toph seems to remember Suki as the “cool older girl” and she and Katara whisper about it cheerfully. Aang says hi to Suki and to Hakoda and is generally as excitable as always, though he seems sad to not have fish. Zuko goes to his sleeping bag and falls asleep quickly, which is a first- Sokka knows he usually stays up half the night doing firebending stuff or something.

“C’mon, guys,” Sokka says eventually, “it’s super late. Bedtime.”

“Saints, I can’t believe Katara had us convinced that _she_ was the mom friend,” Toph grumbles, but she listens and heads to her sleeping bag as well. Katara replies with something about how not wanting them to get arrested does _not_ count as being a mom friend, it just counts as being a normal person, but Sokka doesn’t quite hear it. He sits down at the edge of the clearing they’re in, against one of the big pillars, and sighs.

His father sits down next to him eventually.

“Hey, Sokka,” he says, and Sokka smiles tiredly at him. “I can’t believe how much you’ve grown up.”

Sokka shrugs. “I wouldn’t have been able to get you out without you and Zuko and Suki. It’s not just me.”

“Yes, that’s true,” Hakoda replies, “but just now you told some of the most stubborn children I’ve ever seen to go to bed and they _did._ I think that counts as growing up.”

Sokka smiles. “They are stubborn, aren’t they.”

“So are you,” Hakoda says.

Sokka sighs and leans his head on his father’s shoulder. “I guess so. I didn’t use to be.”

Hakoda hums in agreement. He looks over at the camp, sees Aang and Katara’s beds right next to each other, sees Toph curled up in a tiny ball, sees Suki asleep again on Sokka’s bed. “She’s your girl, isn’t she?” Hakoda asks. “Suki.”

Sokka laughs. “Well, she’s no one’s girl but her own. We’re dating, though. I like her a lot.”

“I understand why. She’s a tough one, isn’t she?”

“She is.”

Hakoda looks at Zuko, sleeping on his bed that’s just slightly apart from the rest of the group. “He sure is something, isn’t he,” he says.

Sokka smiles at that. “Yeah,” he agrees. “He’s doing his best, dad. The guy’s had a rough life, and he did some stupid shit, and now he’s making up for it.”

Hakoda looks at Zuko with something like pity. “He is young, isn’t he.”

“He’s my age.”

“Do you trust him?”

“Of course,” Sokka says. “I wouldn’t have taken him to Boiling Rock if I didn’t.”

Hakoda smiles, too. He kisses Sokka on the forehead. “You should go to sleep. I’m sure Suki won’t mind sharing the bed.” He winks, and Sokka feels himself turn bright red.

“Dad!” he says indignantly, but he stands up anyway. “Goodnight,” he says. “See you in the morning.”

Hakoda waves.

And Suki does not mind sharing, to Sokka’s delight.

* * *

After Katara’s turn of going on an adventure with Zuko, Sokka sits with her on the dock. Their feet are dangling into the ocean, and Sokka’s shoulder is pressed against hers.

“I used bloodbending again,” Katara says. “And it wasn’t even on the right guy.”

Sokka says, “But you stopped, didn’t you?”

“Only after I realized it wasn’t him.”

Sokka squeezes her hand.

“I’m sorry,” Katara says. “I shouldn’t have said those things to you. I know you loved mom just as much as I did.”

“It’s okay,” Sokka replies. “I know. You saw mom before she died. I get that you feel worse about this than I do.”

Katara isn’t crying, but she looks like she wants to. She pulls water from the ocean and freezes it into the shape of their mother, or something like that. “When I found him, it was raining. I stopped it. The rain, I mean.”

“Yeah,” Sokka says. “Zuko told me about that part. You know, he’s pretty fuckin’ scared of you, Katara.”

She smiles and doesn’t even bother chastising him for swearing. “I know. He doesn’t need to be, anymore.”

“Katara, I think the whole world should be scared of you. You’re pretty much the most powerful waterbender ever,” Sokka says brightly, trying to cheer her up. She unfreezes the water, and lets it fall through her hands back into the ocean.

“But I don’t want them to be,” Katara says quietly. “I don’t want everyone to be scared of me. I don’t want to bloodbend.”

Sokka puts an arm around her shoulder. “You don’t have to bloodbend anymore if you don’t want to,” he says. “And I know. I’m sorry this has been placed on you.”

“Do you ever wish you could waterbend?” Katara asks.

Sokka hums. “Sometimes,” he says. “I used to, more than anything. When we were kids and you were much better at snowball fights than me.” Katara laughs, a little, and leans into his side. “But now I’m just proud of you. I’m okay being the sword and boomerang guy.”

“You know, I think Zuko’s father likes his sister Azula better. Because Azula can firebend better than Zuko can.” Katara says this like she’s divulging a secret. “I’m glad dad isn’t like Zuko’s dad.”

“I’m glad we love each other,” Sokka says. He tugs on one of her hair loops. “I’m glad you’re my little sister, and I’m glad you’re not evil like Azula is.”

Katara laughs. “Me too,” she says. She bends the water again and freezes it into a tiny sword. Sokka takes it. 

* * *

Toph is slipping from his fingers, oh Saints, she’s slipping, Sokka has to hold on to her.

He uses his boomerang to take out the one soldier and his sword to take out the other, and then she almost falls and he has to readjust his grip. Tui and La, his leg _hurts._

The other guards show up then. His boomerang isn’t coming back this time. Toph is hanging by her fingertips, and Sokka isn’t going to be able to hold on forever.

He’s supposed to protect her. Saints damn it, he has to take care of her. But his shoulder feels like it’s about to pop out of place with the angle he’s holding her at, and she’s slipping, she’s going to fall.

“It looks like this is the end,” Sokka says, and he hopes she hears how sorry he is. 

And then, miracle of miracles, there’s Suki, swooping in on another ship and catching them just as they fall. Sokka holds on to Toph and she’s shaking so bad, but so is he. 

“I got you,” he whispers to her.

“What happened?” she asks, sounding exhausted and confused, and he almost forgot that she couldn’t see. “Did boomerang come back?”

“No,” Sokka says, looking up at the top of the ship, “Suki did.”

* * *

Sokka, Suki, and Toph make their way to Aang and Ozai, and they fly back home. 

Toph falls asleep on Suki’s lap as soon as they start flying, and Aang looks like he’s close behind, but he just stands by Sokka as he steers the ship towards the rest of their family. Sokka doesn’t know what to say, so he takes his hand and holds it as tight as he can.

And they made it back to the Fire Nation, and they’re told Katara and Zuko are in Zuko’s room. Zuko is bandaged, but he’s awake, and Katara tells them that Azula had been taken away, but that she had got him with lightning.

Aang runs up to Zuko, looking like he wants to hug him or do something else equally bad for his health. Zuko carefully peels back a few of his bandages and shows Aang the starbursting scar on his chest. “Look, we match,” he says quietly, and _that’s_ when Aang bursts into tears.

“I took your dad’s bending away,” Aang says, still crying into his hands, with Katara holding on to one of his shoulders and Toph clinging to his arm. All of them are crying. “I didn’t kill him. I’m sorry.”

“Hey,” Zuko says, and with what seems like a lot of effort, he takes Aang’s hand. “I’m proud of you, Aang. You won. You did it.”

And somehow Aang ends up laying on Zuko’s bed beside him, clinging to his arm. Toph is on Zuko’s other side, curling up and holding his hand. Katara somehow manages to squeeze next to Aang without falling on the floor and Suki rests her head on Zuko’s lap under Toph and Sokka holds her hand, laying just beside her.

The bed definitely was not made to fit six people, but they do it anyway. 

Most of them fall asleep right away, as if they were waiting for someone to tell them that it’s okay, you can rest now. Sokka stays awake. He tells himself that he’s just not tired, but he’s more tired than he’s ever been. What he’s doing is keeping watch.

Suki opens her eyes and stares at him. She’s beautiful, even covered in dirt and exhausted.

“Go to sleep, Sokka,” she whispers. “The war will still be over in the morning.” 

* * *

In Sokka’s dream, he is two years old again, sitting outside the place where his mother is crying and his father is pacing. The colors are muted and gray. It is a very old memory.

And then he sees his little sister, tiny and screaming, her face scrunched up and her eyes blue, blue, blue. In a memory with no color, her eyes are blue. Sokka looks up and he sees his mother’s face, and it isn’t blurry but it isn’t his mother, either- it’s Katara, fourteen and too young to be as strong as she is.

Sokka rubs his eyes and Katara’s face is gone, just the blurry shape of his mother that never quite comes into focus.

“Hello,” Sokka whispers to his baby sister, and suddenly he’s old and tall but Katara is still tiny in his arms. “We’re going to do great things together one day.”

Katara blinks at him. She smiles, even though babies her age aren’t supposed to be able to smile.

Sokka kisses her on the forehead, and then presses his lips to her ear and whispers the words again, because that part of the memory is the same no matter how strange it is. I love you. I love you, little sister, and I’m going to protect you. One day, you’ll also protect me.

* * *

The war is still over in the morning.


End file.
